Thursday, April 28, 2011

Letter from Loren Selig


In the past few weeks, I have been greatly disturbed by a number of events. I am aware that the Board made a decision which some people agreed with and others did not. Regardless of each individual’s or even each group’s opinion, the actions that have followed have been quite unsettling. Some people have chosen to call one another names; others have chosen to make indirect attacks at one side or another through anonymous messages or through published letters to the editor of Fosters Daily Democrat.

In each case, the one element that makes us all a community has been lost: our commitment to working together to achieve a unilateral goal. Obviously each person involved believes his or her opinion is the best way to proceed. Obviously we are a school system in a crisis. We have forgotten how to not only talk, but also to listen to one another civilly and respectfully.

A decision has been made by the board. The question now is not whether or not to revisit that decision, nor whether to attack board members on either side of the decision, nor to challenge our Superintendent of Schools. It is not a question of whether our students and teachers deserve a principal. The key question is how do we move forward in a way that respects all parties and that shows what the Oyster River community is really all about: a commitment to providing our children with the best education possible.

Right now, I call upon everyone in the room, everyone at home, everyone reading Blog posts, everyone writing letters, everyone in the school system, and everyone in our community to return to a place of civility.

Please join me in supporting everyone in our community with dignity and respect and let us continue to be the absolute best we can be.

Sincerely,
Loren Selig, community member, parent of a Kindergartener

20 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Dear Administrator,
    In all fairness to everyone I am wondering why you removed the name of the school board member who posted then removed the comment. There are many times on the blog where someone posted then changed their mind, which have not been removed. You are now leaving everyone wondering what was posted by one but not both which could be viewed as unfair.

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  3. Dear Lori,

    Is "bobcat" a school board member? Can you please elaborate? The reason I removed the above comment is because it called out a few community member's names and pointed out the ages of their children. These residents are NOT and NEVER have been on the school board.

    If you are speaking about another comment from another post, please let me know. Again, Blogger isn't the best system and people have made several comments about their words being erased, etc... If a board member did post and then it got removed, I invite that member to repost and try again.

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  4. I do agree with you that the type of comment you did remove should be. But that is not the post I referred to, I do not know who Bobcat is. There was another post after the 3:04pm post on this section from a board member that I am referring to.

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  5. Lori,

    I don't see any board member comments recently. Again, this could have been the site. Sorry. If the board is reading this and wants to repost, then they are welcome and I'll keep an eye out for it.

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  6. This is the edited version of bobcat's comment. I removed some personal info. The reason I am reposting is that a couple of people wanted to respond to it before I removed the comment.

    I have inserted "omitted" where bobcat included children, their ages, and school attended. That should not be part of discussions.

    I also didn't edit or correct grammar and/or spelling.

    "I watched some of the board meeting on tv, and it was pretty interesting to see the people in the background making angry faces when the students or teachers talked. There were the , and that woman in a white sweater whose son graduated last year, but also is also tight with Ann Lane and the Republicn crowd. She kept making eye rolling looks when people talked or would slice her finger over her neck as if to cut off the speaker. It was so incredibly rude.

    So you have Loran Selig talking about civility, and then she sits next to this crowd who were right in the camera's eye acting quite uncivil for the entire length of public comments. Interestingly Ben Hillyard sat with this crowd for a good part of the night, too.

    I don't profess to know what the answer is , but I also don't believe the answer is to just bow down to elected figures and always just say, "okay, you know what's best for us, keep it up!" If we did that with Congress and they never had their constituents peak out in anger about what they are doing, then our country would be owned by GE or Halliburtan by now.

    I also think all these letters from community members is making this blog look an awful lot less like a blog than the opinion section of Fosters (since you print Fosters articles and now reprint any letters that were printed in Foster's, too and just add in a few other letters that were never printed). It's getting really tiresome and as you can see people are losing interest because these letters are kind of redundant. Why is there no real writer for the blog - someone who really has their finger on the pulse of the community (all sides and with no hidden agenda - ha! ha!)? That might actually make this blog a go-to site."

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  7. This is a response from the "woman in the white sweater":

    My apologies for my rude facial expressions. This wouldn't be the first time my glass face got me in trouble. Poor choice, sitting in front of the camera! From our seats however, we witnessed the young man who previously made public obsene remarks to Mrs. Lane mouthing "I'm going to f*&#!$g kill you" over and over, while Mr. Lane was speaking.

    People see what they want to see, or in this case, where the camara happened to be pointing.

    From your comments, it is apparent that you've drawn some conclusions about me that are not true. I just got to know Ann Lane in the past few months and I am a registered Democrat. See what comes from assuming?

    The reason we can sit together is because although we may disagree sometimes, we like each other and respect each other.

    Since you seem to know who I am, stop me and say "hi" sometime and we can grab a coffee and try to understand each others' differences. I like that idea more than separating ourselves into like-minded cliques.

    I also had a son graduate in 2007.

    Signed, the woman in the white sweater.

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  8. No matter how angry that student is, making criminal threats is never appropriate. His anger/dissapointment does not give him the 'right' to do that--period!

    How is this allowed?

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  9. Bobcat,

    In your comments, you say that I was sitting with a group of people who were, in your opinion, acting rudely. I would have been hard pressed to have sat anywhere in the room where people were not acting rudely... perhaps I should have sat on the stage? I do know that the reporters from Fosters and the Union Leader were sitting behind me, and that I sat with people I know personally and who I trust to be respectful to me and others. I do not believe either of the people sitting on either side of me was disrespectful to anyone, though I was watching the proceedings, not them, and I also cannot account for other people's actions, only my own.

    I am quite sure that I worked very hard throughout the meeting (as long as I was able to be there before I had to relieve my babysitter), to maintain my composure and to be respectful throughout. This included listening to people whose opinions varied from agreeing with to disagreeing with the Board's decision about the 1 Principal candidate they were allowed to vote on who spoke very disrespectfully both to and about others in the room.

    My comments were meant to be what I said, a call to return to civility. We may have very varied opinions, but nothing about name calling, threats, obscenities, nor BOOing people is respectful. Our responsibility as a community is to communicate with one another. This means listening as well as speaking.

    I do not know you, as you have chosen to hide your identity by a pseudonym, so I cannot speak to you directly except through this forum. I would ask you to contact me directly to set up a time to have coffee or tea and to discuss our views in a calm, rational, and respectful manner. In fact, I would encourage anyone who is expressing a strong difference of opinion to do the same with those with whom they disagree. Perhaps you will find you have more in common than you would otherwise expect.

    A few years ago, I spoke about the possibility of adding full-day kindergarten to our district. There were significantly divergent views on this topic. However, at no point did people threaten one another, nor call one another names, not yell, boo, or otherwise disrespect one another. I disagreed with the resulting decision of the Board, yet I also respected that they were volunteers elected by the community faced with very challenging tasks.

    I also want to be clear that I am suggesting people shouldn't voice their opinions. What I am saying is that we MUST return to a place of civility if we are ever to move forward as a community.

    In terms of my background, I am a former teacher (over a dozen years of experience, mostly at the High School level), a parent of two young children, the wife of a town administrator (who probably wishes I were less vocal, though I do not ask him his preferences), and a local real estate sales agent who often works with people who want to live in our wonderful community.

    For those of you who continue to post fundamentally anonymously, I encourage you to take full responsibility for your comments and put your name to them.

    Sincerely,
    Loren

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  10. Okay, I have now re-written my comments three times and the server keeps eating them. S, I know this is not because of you...


    Bobcat, the essence of what I have now written repeatedly is that I cannot be held accountable for the people sitting around me. I sat directly with people I knew and whom I believed would demonstrate respect to every speaker. Sitting near me were the two reporters (Foster & Union Leader), teachers, parents, spouses of school Board members, students, and other community members.

    I did my very best to maintain my composure throughout the time I was present (I had to leave just after the younger David Taylor spoke as I needed to relieve my babysitter). During this time, speakers who both agreed with and disagreed with the Board's position about the one Principal candidate spoke. Many, regardless of which side of this issue they were on, spoke with some venom towards the various constituents. Some spoke of their opinions respectfully to all.

    My point, which I continue to maintain, is that we all need to go back to a place of speaking and listening to one another respectfully. I may not agree with your opinion, and you may not agree with mine, but that doesn't permit either one of us to resort to name calling, threats, or disrespect of any kind. It certainly does not justify anyone booing anyone (including, ironically, one person who spoke about her wish to see respect demonstrated).

    I have been involved in political protests of one sort or another for over 20 years. At no time did I EVER resort to the sort of mud slinging I have seen recently. I applaud those who are willing to speak their mind about their appreciation or objection to the actions of the Board, so long as they remember their civility.

    Additionally, to you and those of you who choose to post comments using pseudonyms, I ask you to reveal your identity and take accountability for your comments.

    I also encourage those of you who disagree with me or with anyone else to ask that person to sit down over a cup of coffee or tea and actually discuss your perspectives. Perhaps you will see that we all have the same goal, doing what's best for our children, our community, and ourselves, even if the method we believe will get us there is different.


    As to my background, I have over a dozen years teaching experience between kindergarten and graduate students, including 7 years as a High School English teacher. I hold a Masters degree in Education as well as a post-graduate degree in Instructional Systems Design.

    I am now a mother of two girls, wife of a town manager (who probably wishes I spoke up less often, though I don't ever ask him about it), and a local Real Estate Agent who proudly tells people about what a wonderful community in which we live.

    Sincerely,
    Loren

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  11. OK. I just watched the replay of that meeting. I have to say that most people on both sides spoke respectfully BUT...there were a few students that just couldn't hold back. How disrespectful they were! For one, all the kids in this district don't have it that bad and every one of you should recognize that. The air of arrogance and entitlement was far beyond how I would have acted as a high school student. In fact, it was down right disrespectful. Instead of getting your views across, you came across as righteous and condescending. Excuse me for throwing blame but you DON'T have rights yet. Yes you cannot vote, but these are NOT your schools alone and YOU should not have the only say in what happens within the walls.

    I also want to add some perspective to the community.

    There was an alarming report that came out about 12-18 months ago. It was about drug and alcohol use in our district. I don't remember the specifics but remember at the school board meeting, there was NO ONE there! So...you (community members, teachers, and parents) care SO MUCH about our next principal but turn a blind eye at this report and don't show up to those meetings?

    Second, the strategic plan. Yes...it is running on fumes right now but when there was a chance to actually have input and LEARN about our district and steering it toward a shared purpose, where was everyone?

    Lastly, if you don't like this board, then run yourselves and get out and vote. If you look at past elections, I believe the highest vote getter is only 1000-1500 votes! That is a fraction of the registered voters in the district. The turnout in March is apathetic to say the least and if people want to have a board with their shared beliefs, then they should either run or come out to support those that do. If you don't, then you have less of a right to complain after the fact when the board makes decisions contrary to your own. You cannot have it both ways.

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  12. Thank you Durham Resident. Well said. Especially the last paragraph!!

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  13. I believe you are seeing so many individuals involved Durham Resident for exactly the point you make in your last paragraph. They did get out and vote for candidates that promised transparency and a principal for the HS. They have reneged on their platforms for election and the populous is holding them accountable. Hiding behind RSAs because they didn't get their way is equally pathetic.

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  14. orcitizen,

    I feel that you are slightly misinformed here. At the meeting, Henry Bracket made a comment that the board was only allowed to view 2 resumes and cover letters out of the 44 applicants. I think the push to have the board more involved is about a transparent process from the majority staked teacher led search committee. Now...if I have to sign a multi-year contract and was only allowed to see the credentials of 4.5% of the applicant pool, then how, in good conscious, can one make an informed and well-rounded decision for the next 3 years for a top 5 position in our district?

    A light bulb went on when I heard this. It dawned on me that the board isn't doing a "power grab" but in fact, is trying to do what is right for all stakeholders in the district.

    The board needs to work with the teachers and the superintendent. It seems as if the board WANTS to work with the other groups but Mr. Colter was very abrasive in his statements that he didn't want to go down the path of the board's decision. There must be trust and collaboration and I just don't see it. In turn, because of the superintendents disapproval publicly of the board, this also prompts the teachers to mistrust as well. Not a good formula for moving ahead.

    Just to fact check, I did some searching on Justin Campbell and the ONLY thing I could find about his credentials was a one pager about both him and Bob Thompson. This was all the public got to see of them both on paper. If you look, neither has principal experience. I wonder the percentage of the 44 that applied that did!

    Finally, the candidate chosen BY OUR SUPERINTENDENT has a grammatical mistake in his abbreviated resume. It is "Assistant Principal" NOT "Assistant Principle". If I were applying for the job, I would make sure spelling and grammar are all 100% correct on all correspondence. I would love to see the cover letter and resume of both finalists to see if there were any more mistakes.

    Here is the link:
    http://www.orcsd.org/images/stories/Bios_on_candidates_4_6_11.pdf

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  15. Durham Resident,
    You are missing the point of a search commmittee, which had board representation. The board chose those members to represent them--that is how it works. I find it very frustrating to hear Henry Brackett claim that the board was not involved in the search. You can't have a search commitee consisting of the entire board.

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  16. Regarding the drug and alcohol reports, the PTO and high school principal organized well attended meetings both this year and last year. The entire meeting was devoted to this topic with several speakers. Also, one of the items this last budget season was construction of a more private location for the drug & alcohol counselors’ office. They were displaced from their previous location when the preschool program moved into the high school and this lead to fewer students using this service. I believe this item did not make it through the budget cycle.

    Yes, a lot of the students don’t have the right to vote yet but they are not without influence and are very capable of organizing protests. Below is an example of a successful protest that was initially started by students.
    Tioga High students push to recall school board
    January 05, 2009
    the students organized a petition drive to hold a recall

    California Town Votes to Recall Entire School District Board
    Published: May 20, 2009
    overwhelmingly passed a rare recall of an entire school board

    While I don’t think that is the way to go I can understand why students, parents, teachers & the superintendant do not trust the school board.

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  17. Durham Resident - the school board had at various times four different members of the search committee. During non-public sessions they should have been keeping the board up to date and informed of the candidats and the process. That's their job as board reps. They didn't do their jobs. Point the finger at them and not the committee as a whole. As to the bios linked from your post. Looks to me like someone retyped them. I don't suspect that both candidates used the same font and the same bulleting techniques. Unless we have the original document from which they originated I would say we're dealing with entry error.

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  18. ORCitizen and Lori.

    I hear over and over that there is mistrust of the school board. If you also feel this way, why not reach out to them and set up meetings to talk one on one? Are you afraid that their ideas might actually meld with your thinking on some topics? It is one thing to sit here and criticize; it is another to reach out and contemplate both sides of an argument.

    Publicly on this board, Jim Kach has offered to host a coffee or tea at his residence. My advise to you is to start there and work your way around the board. If they refuse to meet with you, that is a different story.

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  19. Maybe in my case mistrust isn’t the right word probably lack of confidence in this school board’s ability to keep the district strong. I make my decisions based on how things have gone and what I see at the school board meetings. Meetings always look disorganized, many things are pushed back and they don’t get to them. The budget committee charge was not clear and that turned into a disaster just before voting. The strategic planning committee is a problem; the consultant pulled out which is not a good sign. We lost a strong principal. I also listen to what people say and then if they make other decisions it’s my own opinion that they weren’t really honest in their views.

    I should be able to know what the school board wants to do with the district and their views should be transparent. That way everyone knows not just a small group, I think that is part of the problem.

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